Good evening, my name is João and this is Algo Deve Estar Errado Story Time. The following story will be in English because I feel like it. Hope you'll enjoy it, or not, I don't really care, I'm a bitch when I am writing in English.
Once upon a time, there was a little boy called Stewart Pidity, or little Stu if it pleases you the best. Stu Pidity was the dumbest boy on earth. I know that you all think that I am exaggerating but Stu was by far the most idiotic creature of god, not even a chicken had such small brains.
One day, when little Stu was drinking water from a puddle he found a mirror, and he asked the mirror:
-Mirror, mirror on the wall who's the dumbest of them all?
-You are, you twat, that's my reflex, I am behind you! - replied the mirror.
-Oh, okey dokey.
- But there's another like you, I must warn you. One who bares a mark that's very similar to yours, he is called Fattyerty Puffington, and he's as dumb as a dumb can be.
-I must find him, thank you mirror. - said Stu.
-You're looking at the puddle again motherfucker. You're welcome. Fucking moron.
So the boy went on a quest to find Fattyerty Puffington, Fat Puff for his friends. He found him easily, he was drinking his own piss at what he believed it was a fountain. Both of them didn't know how to speak other languages, they were even poor at their own, but they knew the language of friendship. Then Stu Pidity and Fat Puff sucked eachother's cocks, after they found how to. Of course, that took almost a day. They lived happilly ever after.
E foi isto. Espero que tenham gostado, eu gosto mais do português mas para estes pequenos contos, acho que a língua inglesa, assenta lindamente.